


The Mixtape

by c00kie



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Mutual Pining, Romance, Secret Admirer, Set in the early 90's!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 10:45:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10332911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c00kie/pseuds/c00kie
Summary: Leslie finds the tape in her locker, her name written in black sharpie on white tape on the plastic case. She smiles, placing it in her backpack next to her Walkman. It’s the fourth tape she’s received from her secret admirer.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ashisfriendly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashisfriendly/gifts).



> You may have seen part of this on Tumblr. I finally finished it, yay me!  
> Thanks to ashisfriendly and bookworm03 for their tacit endorsement of all my behaviors. Thanks to everyone for reading!

Leslie finds the tape in her locker, her name written in black sharpie on white tape on the plastic case. She smiles, placing it in her backpack next to her Walkman. It’s the fourth tape she’s received from her secret admirer. 

At first she thought it might be Dave, but he really only listens to country and most of the songs have been more alternative, which leaves well, a lot of people. She doesn’t want to assume it’s not a girl, even though she’s 97% sure it’s from a boy.

She knows who she wants it to be, but knows the chances of Ben Wyatt liking her are ten million to one. Sure, they have fun in class and they even have their own secret handshake, but he tends to date girls who are taller and brunette. 

Also, he knows about them and hasn’t confessed, so that definitely means he’s out.

The songs are so good too, and her admirer even puts a little card in the case telling her what every song is, so even if she never meets her mystery person, she’s at least discovered some new music. 

On the way home Ben sits next to her on the bus, even though Cindy waves at him to sit next to her in the back. 

“New tape?” he asks as she pops it into her Walkman and puts on her headphones. 

“Yep,” she answers, pushing play. 

The first song is "Lovesong" by The Cure. Then "With or Without You" by U2, followed by "The One I Love" by R.E.M. All love songs. 

By the sixth song, she’s shaking. She pushes stop even though the song isn’t over and takes off her headphones. 

“You okay?” Ben asks. He’s frowning, obviously concerned, but there’s something else there too. 

“Yeah, um, yeah.”

“Must be some tape.”

She nods and sits back, staring out the window as she thinks. The last four tapes were just collections of songs, though on the first one they did say they were, “songs that reminded me of you,” which is pretty romantic when Leslie thinks about it. 

This tape though, these songs, they don’t say I like you, they say I love you. 

Her admirer loves her. 

Somehow she’s pretty sure that makes the pool of people much more narrow. 

She digs out a notebook out of her backpack and starts writing every name she can think of of people who love her. The bus and her shaking hands making her handwriting wobbly. 

“List of suspects?” he asks, stretching his arms over his head. She tries not to think about how good he smells or that his arm is now draped over the seat and his fingers are dangerously close to her hair.

“Yeah.” 

“Huh,” he says, tapping it. “I can’t help but notice I’m not on it and I gotta say, I’m a little insulted.”

Leslie tries not to blush. “Well I didn’t think-okay I’ll include you if it makes you feel better.” 

It’s two friends joking with each other. Nothing more. He even grins at her and they share a laugh as she writes his name down. 

“That’s all I ask,” he says as the bus comes to his stop. “See you tomorrow, Leslie.” 

“See you,” she replies. He gets off and she uncaps her pen to cross his name off. She can’t bring herself to do it though, so she throws the notebook and her pen back in her bag and puts her headphones back on, pushing play on her Walkman again. 

She’ll figure out who her admirer is eventually. Right now she’s going to listen to them say I love you. 

Ann hands her the next tape in the morning the following Monday.

“You know who it is!”

“Of course I know. I’m the one who put in your locker.”

Right. Leslie knew that. It wasn’t like she thought it was done by magic or that someone bribed the janitor. Or that it was the Janitor.

She’s pretty sure if it would have a lot more Tanya Tucker on it if it was.

“Oh my god, Ann. You have to tell me,” Leslie says, gripping her best friend’s shoulders. “Tell me Ann. Tell me. Tell me Ann. Tell me.”

“I can’t, Leslie,” Ann says, with a shake of her head. “I’ve been sworn to secrecy.”

Leslie sighs, leans against her locker and finally looks at the tape. Like the other four the case just says her name on the case in black sharpie over white tape. Inside are the tape, a TDK A-90,just like the others and the white note card with the songs and their artists listed on them.

“Okay, well at least give me a hint.”

“Uhhh-”

“Is it a guy or girl?”

“Um,” Ann pauses, making a face as if not sure if she should say anything. “A guy.”

“Great!” Leslie smiles and takes out her notebook, crossing out all the female suspects, including Ann.

“I’m on there?”

“You can never be too sure, Ann.”

“Love songs again?” a familiar voice asks from behind her.

Leslie glances up at Ben. His hair looks even more messed up than usual and his jaw a little darker. For a second Leslie imagines feeling that scruff against her skin but she shakes that that thought from her mind. It’s best not to think about something that’s never going to happen.

“Um, kind of?” Leslie says, earning identical puzzled looks from Ann and Ben. The bell rings though, signalling the conversation and Leslie’s time with the tape, are paused for now.

“See you in study hall, Les,” Ben says, walking away, humming as he goes.

Leslie puts the tape out of her mind until study hall. Then, after taking out her math homework, she puts the cassette into her Walkman and pushes play, listening as she works.

The first song is the Psychedelic Furs’ “Pretty In Pink”. She sings along under her breath because she knows it, followed by “If You Were Here” by the Thompson Twins and The Simple Minds’ “Don’t You (Forget About Me).”

“Rebel Yell” begins just as Ben sits next to her at their table, taking out his own math book. Leslie meets his gaze, silently asking why he’s late.

”I have a headache. Needed to see the nurse.”

“Oh,” she says, keeping her voice low low like him. “I’m sorry.”

He smiles at her, in a way that she always likes to think is just for her, but knows can’t be. “Thank you. So how’s the tape?”

”It’s great. Mostly because I know most the songs already.”

“Yeah?” Ben asks, taking the card and reading it. “Wow. This guy must really like John Hughes movies.”

”Well, John Hughes movies are the best,” Leslie says, narrowing her eyes in case Ben wants to disagree with her. “Besides, isn’t that Ducky on your shirt?”

Ben glances down at his shirt and smirks. “Oh, why yes it is.”

He’s wearing a shirt with Ducky from "Pretty in Pink" on it. One of John Hughes most classic films. If Leslie didn’t know any better, she would think it was him. But Ben wears that shirt all the time. It’s his third favorite after his Toad the Wet Sprocket shirt and the one with the old school logo of Batman.

”Ann knows who it is.”

“You just figured that out?” Ben asks, lip trembling like he’s trying not to laugh.

“I thought maybe the person was a thief and could open up lockers with one of those kits you see in movies.”

Ben chuckles but then winces, his headache clearly still bothering him.

“Hey,” she says, “if you want to go back to the nurse and lay down-”

”Nah, I’m good.” He smiles and bends over, resting his head on is arms. “I’ll just rest here until class is over.”

Leslie’s heart skips a thousand beats. In her ear she hears the opening chords “True” by Spandau Ballet begin. Ben could just be too tired to go to the nurse, but he choosing to stay there, with her.

She goes back to her work, keeping her eye on Ben while she listens to her tape. She recalls the first day of school and the way her stomach did somersaults as he sat next to her, even though there were other tables that were completely free. But no, he sat next to her, did his homework in record time and then sat back and said, “You forgot to carry the one.”

At first she was furious at this cocky jerk. Who was he to tell her what she was doing wrong? What business did he have even looking at her homework? But then she looked at her notebook, at the problem written and crossed out all over the page, and saw that he was right.

“Oh. Thanks.”

Then he helped her with the rest and through no fault of her own, she’d fallen madly in love.

“Hey,” he says, poking her arm. His eyes are warm and dark, but tired.

“We’ve still got ten minutes.”

“Yeah, I know. I just wanted to know how your list of suspects is coming.”

“Oh. Well. I eliminated the janitor.”

“Not enough Tanya?”

“Nope.”

He laughs and pulls on her sweater with his fingers. “You’ll figure it out.”

Yeah. She’ll figure it out. And then what? She’ll go to him and they’ll kiss while "If You Leave" by OMD plays?

God that does sound romantic.

“What’s wrong?” he asks,opening his water bottle a few minutes later and taking sip. She allows herself the few seconds to watch his Adam’s apple bob while he swallows.

“Nothing. It’s just, what if it’s not who I want it to be?” Leslie freezes as she realizes what she’s just said, and who she said it to. She was supposed to say what do I do when I figure it, not that. But Ben only raises an eyebrow.

“Well, who do you want it to be?”

“James Spader,” Leslie answers quickly, saying the first name that comes to mind that isn’t Ben’s.

“Ah. Good choice.”

“Thank you,” she says, putting her Walkman and books back in her bag since class is almost over.

The bell rings. “Anytime.” 

"So, no tape?" Ben asks nudging her shoulder with his on the bus as it hits a curb. She can't wait until she's sixteen and can drive. Not that she can afford a car yet, but still.  


"No. I think he lost interest."

"That's impossible," he says. "You're like the most interesting person I know. He's probably just busy, or can't figure out what to make you next."

"That's sweet," she replies, wishing he meant it romantically and not just as her friend. "It's okay. It happens."

"No, no." Ben shakes his head. "See, I know what it takes to make a mixed tape. You don't do it for a girl you're only kind of interested in. And you really don't make what was it, five, six? For a girl if you're not…"

"If you're not?" 

"Ridiculously in love with her." 

Her breath catches in her throat. "Oh."

"Yeah. So don't worry, you'll get another soon enough."

"You think so?"

"I know so," he says as the bus comes to a stop and he stands up. "Have a good break, Leslie."

"You too." 

She gets a tape five days into winter break. It's in her mail box, wrapped up like a present. There are no addresses on it, just "For Leslie Knope," written in sharpie. 

"Did you see anyone?" Leslie asks Marlene as she opens it up. Marlene shakes her head. 

"What is it this time?" Marlene asks. 

Leslie looks at the card inside the cover. "Ohhh, it's Christmas songs!" 

Marlene smiles as Leslie gives her the card. "This is looks lovely. Even if it does have a song called, "Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis." 

On Christmas, when Ann shows up with her presents, a part of Leslie is let down when none of them are from her mystery guy. Still, she shrugs it off and eats half her weight in pie and delivers homemade cookies and gifts to her friends, including Ben, who asks her to sit with him on his porch. Inside his house Leslie hears a yelling at a football game. 

"Wow, this is really good," he says, biting into his cookie. "Mm, you know how I love a good snickerdoodle."

Leslie laughs. "I do. Now open your present!"

"Wait," he says, standing up. "I gotta run in and get yours. Wait right here. Don't leave even if Henry comes out and tries to hit on you." 

"I'll stay," Leslie promises, stomach full of butterflies at knowing Ben got her something. 

Henry doesn't come out. Leslie kicks her feet against the concrete porch while she waits for Ben, stealing one of the cookies. 

"Sorry it took so long," Ben says, holding a box. "I had to find it."

"It's okay," she replies with a grin as he sits back down beside her. "Now open your present!"

"You first." 

Their fingers graze when she takes the box. His warm, her cold. "Have you been delivering cookies all day?" he asks, taking her hands into his. 

"Just for the last couple of hours. I was wearing gloves but they got to cumbersome and I couldn't grip anything."

"Hmmm. Well I would invite you inside to get warm but not even the Vikings being up by twenty points would keep him from noticing I had a girl. Also he's terrifying, so…" 

"It's okay. I have more cookies to deliver anyway."

"Mmm. I like your outfit too. Did you make it?"

"Of course," she says, looking down at her jumper with an elf holding a plate of cookies on it. "I'm the cookie elf!"

"And what a cute cookie elf you are." 

Ben called her cute. She's going to throw up. She needs to call Ann. But before she can even think about what it all means, he says, "Okay, cookie elf, open your present."  
So she does, taking off the tape and most of the wrapping before opening the box and removing the tissue paper inside. Wrapped within it is a small glass owl figurine. 

"Ooooh, it's so cute," she says, clutching it to her chest. "Thank you."

"Yeah, well I saw it and I know you like owls so." 

"Thank you," she says, leaning over to kiss Ben on his cheek before she can think better of it. His cheek is cold, and her lips are dry but Ben's smiling when she pulls back. 

"Your turn," she says, placing his present in his lap. He smiles and opens it, his eyes wide, his mouth open in surprise. It's by far the cutest face she's even seen anyone make. 

"Oh my god Star Trek communicator walkie talkies!" 

"Yeah I-"

He's hugging her. It's not like they've never hugged before but something feels different about this hug, as if it's about more than Leslie getting him walkie talkies for Christmas. 

"Thank you." 

"You're very welcome," she says, hoping he can't hear her heart pounding against her chest. 

"I better get back in," Ben says after a beat. "Show Steph my cool new communicators." 

Leslie laughs. "Me too. I still have six more people to deliver to."

"Well I'll let you do that, cookie elf." 

He holds out his hand and they do their handshake before she continues on toward her next destination. 

There's no tape on her birthday. She gets a pretty sweater and some books from her mom, a charm necklace from Ann, and various other gifts and cards from her other friends, but no tape. 

Ben isn't at school that day. 

And somehow, Ben not being there feels worse than not getting another tape. For a few minutes she feels angry he can't make it to school on her birthday, but then she pictures him in bed, surrounded by tissues and chugging cough syrup and feels bad. So she gathers his homework from his teachers and delivers it to his house. 

A woman answers the door, a cold expression on her face. "Hi, you must be Ulani, I'm Leslie Knope I'm Ben's frie-"

"He's in his room," Ulani says, pointing up the stairs. Then she walks away and sits on the couch, continuing to watch TV.

"Okay so I-" Leslie shakes her head as Ulani ignores her and closes the door behind her before going up to Ben's room. 

Ben's sitting up in his bed reading a comic. There's a box of tissues beside him. She knocks on the door frame and he looks up and smiles. 

"Hey, birthday girl. Come in." He sounds terrible. 

"Hey," she says as she walks into his room. "I brought you your homework." 

"Oh cool," Ben replies as Leslie walks into his room and takes his homework out of her bag to give him. "I'm sorry I wasn't there today I woke up and saw spots, but your present is on my desk." 

"Oh. I didn't come to-"

"I know." 

She walks over to his desk and takes the gift bag off it and pulls out a stuffed raccoon wearing a bolo tie. "Oh my god, he's so cute!" she says, hugging it to her chest. 

"I'm glad you like him." 

Leslie grins and looks around Ben's room. There are posters of Kathy Ireland and Princess Leia on the wall as well as ones for the Minnesota Wild and Twins. On his bookshelf are various action figures. He's got a TV and a stereo. On the floor next to the stereo are a pile of blank tapes and note cards and a black sharpie.  
The same tapes her admirer uses. Leslie can't move. She can't look at anything other than the mess of tapes and note cards on his floor, can't seem to work out in her brain that two and two really does equal four and that Ben is her mystery admirer. 

Oh. Fuck."

She slowly turns, her breath caught in her throat. "It was you?"

He groans and she's not sure if it's because he's sick or if he feels bad that she found out. "Yeah. I know you want it to be James Spader." 

She's not sure if she wants to kiss him or call him a jerk or both. She's not sure what she should do. In the meantime, Ben watches her, as if waiting to see what she's going to do. 

"Les-"

"I can't believe you!" She's shouting but she can't help it. "All this time it was you and you didn't tell me?"

"I'm pretty sure I did," he says. "I mean, I wore a Pretty and Pink shirt, Leslie." He rubs his forehead, groaning again. "Look, I'm sorry, but-" he sneezes. 

It's impossible to be angry with him when he looks so helpless and cute. 

"I should go."

"Yeah, dad's probably going to be home soon anyway," Ben says. "I'll walk you out."

"No, no, you stay there. Rest." Then she leans over and kisses his cheek. "For the record I'm not really mad." 

"You're not?"

"No. I wanted it to be you." 

Ben smiles as Leslie squeezes his hand. For a minute she pictures him tugging her down onto his lap, them making out for hours. 

But that will have to wait.

He comes to school the next day with a box of Kleenex and a tape. Two tapes actually. "One is your birthday tape, and the other is songs I'm going to make out with you to."

She doesn't even need to look at them to know that she'll love every song, just like she loves him. For hours the night before she spent it pacing her room as she talked with Ann on the phone, going through every emotion from shock to anger to joy and finally, complete dismay that she missed it. 

Now though, she just really wants to kiss him.

"Still sick," he says when she leans in. 

"Don't care." 

He just smiles and turns her around. "Time for class, Miss Knope."

It turns out she has to wait a week to kiss him. A long, torturous week in which she listens to every tape he's given her at least twice. She leaves the make out tape though, wanting to save it for when they actually can make out. At first he won't even let her hold his hand, but relents when she pouts. By the time the week is over, she thinks she might die. 

But then Ben shows up to school, no Kleenex in sight, his eyes bright and clear. 

Before she can even say hello, his lips are on hers. It's almost worth the wait. Almost. 

"Lips to yourselves," a teacher says as they pass by. Ben pulls away and brushes Leslie's hair from her face. 

"You're coming over today."

"I am?" he asks, smirking. He's been over to her house every day. They do homework and cuddle while they watch TV. He even stayed for dinner the night before. 

"Yeah," she says as he puts his arm around her shoulder and they walk to class. "We've got a tape to listen to."


End file.
